🧙♂️ I’VE GOT THE RED SQUIRREL SIGN; I’ve got the red squirrel postcard for the folks back home; I’m even…
… thinking of getting a red squirrel t-shirt; that’s how serious this is becoming! The only thing I haven’t seen on this trip to the Lake District is – Can you guess? – a real, live red squirrel! Boom boom! Oh no, Basil Brush is a red fox, but never mind.
one of these mythical creatures!
Thus began my latest quest for meaning – of those little tufty bits, I mean. I actually found an article on the Scottish Wildlife Trust website called Ear Tufts and Fluffy Tails: All About Red Squirrels.
An even more pinpointed piece from the About Squirrel website was entitled Why do Red Squirrels Have Ear Tufts? Thermal Insulation?, although all those question marks don’t inspire much hope on my quest for a simple, definitive answer.
They suggest the tufts may help squirrels to regulate their temperature or just to keep their thin little lugs from getting frostbite in winter, like built-in ear muffs.
The obvious hairy bits might also simply help them to recognise other members of the scurry (the squirrels’ social group).
get to the pound?
My personal theory is that females may be attracted to the male with the biggest ear tufts, the idea being that the more prominent your spiky bits, the more of a, err… squirrel you must be. Other non-hirsute criteria may also sway her ladyship’s decision, such as the size of a potential partner’s nuts*, which might indicate his force and foraging capabilities, but only female squirrels know this for sure, and they ain’t squeakin’ (just smirking).
*Obligatory pitiful ‘squirrel’s nuts’ innuendo…
An honourable ‘shout-out’ should go to the pine martin, which always sounds like a bird to me but is actually a mammal. This cute but sharp-looking little fella making a welcome comeback may be the poor little red squirrel’s best ally in this dog-eat-dog world we live in. Umm, make that pine-martin-eat-grey-squirrel world, for that’s what they do!
Last anecdote just in from our special Lakeland Chronicles Squirrel Wars correspondent on the topic, and the action is taking place right over our heads! It seems that the pine martins pursue the squirrels up into the trees and out onto the branches in search of tasty brunches. The hefty grey is too heavy to head too far out and piney pounces, punches: Crunch! Crumbs, free lunches…
The nimble little red, though, weighing in at half the grey’s size, can make it right out to the end of the spindliest twigs, where Mr Martin fears to tread. The latter gives up and goes looking for some more greys to grind, while red rides around the ‘hood again with his head aloft.
Now hold it right there and smile for the camera, you little bleeder! That’s it, tufts up, and if you could just hold your nuts a little higher – nothing personal, you understand – … perfect: CLICK! It’s in the bag; hazelnut, anyone?
Happy nibbling!
The Laggard of Lakeland 
(Lakeland Chronicles No.30)
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Wainwright Log: 9 of 214 Fells Felled / 0 Books Bashed / Visit Lo
